Inner versus outer beauty
By: Jamal Yousefi, M.D.
everyone is attracted to beauty and I as a board certified plastic surgeon have been particularly interested in finding what beauty is and, how I can help people becoming more beautiful.
the dictionary says: beauty is a combination of physical qualities such as, shape color or form, that pleases the sight.
The concept of Beauty is a changing one that has evolved, over thousands of years. And what makes the understanding of beauty challenging is the fact that, what one person, finds beautiful or admirable, may not appeal to another person at all.
we all have heard this very old phrase that, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and its very true. But is there any way, to find a standard for beauty, which we can all agree with? If there is not a standard of beauty, then how come many people agree with each other that a certain person is beautiful, for example, many people even up to this date , agree with each other that , Marilyn Monroe was beautiful! Aren’t we using at least close to the same standard to come with the same conclusion that she is beautiful or at least not ugly!!
Charles Darvin once wrote: with respect to the human body, it is certainly not true, that there is any universal standards of beauty.
But recent studies suggest that there are some universal agreements about beauty which actually holds true across all cultures and not just in the United States.
some of these standards are even in the form of mathematical ratios and we can actually give a score of beauty to someone, using these ratios!!
Probably one of the most important standards of beauty, is having symmetry in the body, specially symmetry in the face. Having a face which is equal in both sides, appeals to all humans. Probably because it tells the prospect of partners, that good genes Will be found in this body.
So one might argue that we can use these standards to make people more beautiful, and that’s what we try to do as plastic surgeons in many occasions.
During my career, I have seen my share of some people that have felt to be ugly or have felt to have an ugly body. In a very small percentage of these people, We see a problem from within, and can’t see a deformity outside in their body! Some are even very beautiful to begin with and we should not touch them. In some others, Even if we see some imperfections, no matter how many surgeries we do, they won’t feel any more beautiful. Some of these people can’t even see any difference in the mirror and they believe we did not change anything, Even when most of their friends tell them they are much more beautiful than before they still don’t believe that. So why is that they still, believe nothing was changed and they are still ugly!! That’s when the concept of the inner beauty, becomes visible
We all have heard the phrase that beauty comes from within.
What is this inner beauty, and how come some people don’t believe that they have it?
Events that happen outside of us, in our environments, affect, how we feel, inside. There is no question about this. If we hear a bad news, that , will have an affect on how we feel inside.
But what’s going on, inside of us, to begin with, can affect the outside , a lot more!!!
Everything starts from within us. What we do, where we go, how we behave, and when we stand for ourselves or others, all depends on ,who we think we are , deep inside.
In my opinion, no one has ever described this revolutionary idea, better than Dr maxwell Maltz in 1960, when he published his book, psycho cybernetics.
Dr. Maltz, also a plastic surgeon, introduced to us a psychological discovery that has helped millions of people since then.
Tony Robbins, zig ziglar , and Brian Tracy have been actually using his techniques since then. It was about self image.
Self image, is the image you have of yourself. When we say image, it is not just a picture of our physical body or the outside appearance.
It is actually the Sum of all of the believes that we have, of ourselves. It is the image or the believe of who we are as a whole, physically mentally spiritually socially financially and so on.
Therefore, deep down, in your self image, if you believe that you are an ugly person, unless we change that self image believe, no matter what we do outside, you will still feel ugly.
If deep down, you believe that mentally you are always slow stupid or a failure, no matter what happens outside, sooner or later you will fail.
If spiritually you believe that you are not a, kind loving or a caring person, and that you don’t believe you deserve to be happy, guess what? You can’t find love or happiness in the outside nor the inside.
It totally makes sense to me. Let’s see if it makes sense to you as well. who do you think will have more money in his or her bank account? A person who deep down believes it’s very easy to earn and keep money, or the person who believes it’s very hard to find money and keep it?
So here’s the life-changing idea:
if you want to achieve more goals, if you want to be more self disciplined, if you don’t like something that is happening to you, if you don’t enjoy spending time with your friends or family, if you don’t feel pride worthy love gratitude or beautiful, don’t blame the outside and don’t look to the outside for a solution first. Look inside: see who you are and what you believe in. Take the mask off, layer by layer go dealer, and as Dr. Maltz says, heal the inner scars!!!
I have held seminars and given lectures like these to my colleagues , and even to my patients. The question that I always get, is that why are you saying these things, and aren’t You afraid that saying things like that, might interfere with your business as a plastic surgeon who solely does cosmetic surgeries? I’m not telling you, not to have plastic surgery. No , not at all please do!!!
What I am saying is, don’t do it , for the wrong reasons or even worse, don’t do it for the wrong people. Do it for yourself. When we are in touch with our inner feelings, when we are happy with who we are and who we are capable of becoming, and when we are in the state of gratitude, then and only then we have seen our inner beauty which allows us to see and appreciate the outer beauty!!
So in conclusion, if you want to have both inner and outer beauty , you must dive deep inside, become aware of your self believes, get rid of your negative limiting believes and substitute them with the believes that empowers you. Good luck and have fun in this amazing journey of getting to know yourself and your beauty both inside and outside.
Jamal Yousefi, M.D.